For him the bell tolls

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich
man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Since I’m penniless, I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting in to heaven. But, just
to be safe, I go to church as often as I can especially on major holidays like
Easter. I drove to Round Hill today to pick up my mom and we headed to
Purcellville Baptist Church. Today’s sermon was about Jesus, of course, and how
many eye witnesses were at his death and resurrection.

I learned something new today: According to Jewish law, there must be two
eyewitnesses to testify to any event for it to be deemed valid. Of course, a
crowd was present at Jesus’ crucifixion, but only two women were there when
Jesus rose from the dead – his mother, Mary and Mary Magdalene.

Two women were also witness to the near-ruin of the James family’s
celebration of Jesus’ resurrection – Hannah Hager and her mother, Linda James.
My aunt, Roberta, came running from her house during a downpour of rain, losing
hold of two, coconut cream pies before they landed face down in the gravel
driveway. The pie’s demise happened in tandem with the misplacement of a shoe,
the collapse of a curled coif and the loss of jack russell terrier that was
later returned by a neighbor.

Coconut jelly bean cake ... yum

“I’m going to write a book about this and I better make a million frickin’
dollars!” she screamed when she finally settled in the car.

Turns out, the terrycloth that was meant to protect the pies from the wind
instead protected them from the gravel. Otherwise, a family of 18 would have
been eating rocks for dessert.

The rain persisted on and off and up until the day’s closing bell. As my 98
year-old grandmother stood waiting for her son to unlock his car with nothing
but a yellow envelope covering her head, my boyfriend rushed to escort her back
inside with an umbrella.

Grandma is rescued from a totally rain out.

I began to wonder if God counts those riches that
aren’t weighted in gold. If so, my entry into heaven may not be written in


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